You and I

I knew this day would come.

I saw how you were making your way out

Of the deepest corners of my mind. 

I saw how I was letting you go. 

I felt your voice become quiet, soft, weak.. 

Until one moment, I spoke of you, 

And I realized you were just a story —

A distant memory. 

I tried to find you — to embody you. 

I tried to access your voice.. 

But I only heard my own. 

It felt necessary for you to go. 

I knew it had to be. 

I thought we’d have more time together. 

I thought you’d still be here —

to hold me when I felt alone, 

To let me bathe in pain and 

Give me reasons to blame something outside of myself. 

I know it’s wrong now 

But it was comfortable. 

I love you. I miss you. 

At times I want you back –

No.. 

At times, I wish I could want you back. 

I know that you can no longer exist. 

Because you are no longer me.  

I grieve your passing because I know

This time, you will not return. 

I know, this time, I have set you free. 

Consciously, I let you go. 

Consciously, I purge the death of you. 

Consciously, I do not call you back. 

I see,

I die again in every passing moment. 

Thank you for playing your part. 

Thank you for your reflection. 

You were everything I needed

to be to become who I am. 

And now, I can stand alone 

Because I’ve stood with you. 

 

Love, 

Michaela ‘Z’ (your moon babe) 

📸: Santiago Lo Cascio Imaz
#lettertoself #notetoself #lovetoself #rebirth #transformation

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