I knew this day would come.
I saw how you were making your way out
Of the deepest corners of my mind.
I saw how I was letting you go.
I felt your voice become quiet, soft, weak..
Until one moment, I spoke of you,
And I realized you were just a story —
A distant memory.
I tried to find you — to embody you.
I tried to access your voice..
But I only heard my own.
It felt necessary for you to go.
I knew it had to be.
I thought we’d have more time together.
I thought you’d still be here —
to hold me when I felt alone,
To let me bathe in pain and
Give me reasons to blame something outside of myself.
I know it’s wrong now
But it was comfortable.
I love you. I miss you.
At times I want you back –
At times, I wish I could want you back.
I know that you can no longer exist.
Because you are no longer me.
I grieve your passing because I know
This time, you will not return.
I know, this time, I have set you free.
Consciously, I let you go.
Consciously, I purge the death of you.
Consciously, I do not call you back.
I die again in every passing moment.
Thank you for playing your part.
Thank you for your reflection.
You were everything I needed
to be to become who I am.
And now, I can stand alone
Because I’ve stood with you.
Michaela ‘Z’ (your moon babe)
📸: Santiago Lo Cascio Imaz
#lettertoself #notetoself #lovetoself #rebirth #transformation